Dear Paper Magazine,
While everyone is busy talking about this….
we have a few questions about this…
Who’s idea was this? Did they get a pay raise?
Was Kanye West in attendance and did he throw the glass?
How many bottles of champagne did Kim drink before the shot?
Is there any video footage? if so would you take our $500k offer for first refusal?
Has Ray – J contacted you in regards to his cut?
What took longer – balancing the cup on her ass, or writing 1,909 characters worth of kiss ass
(of which we are sure no one read)?
What brand of oil was used?
What songs were playing in the background?
Were any of these nude shoots on the table:
Taylor Swift, a can of PBR & a banjo?
Rick Ross, a pair of Jordans & a bottle of Hennessy?
Drake, a lint roller & some Canada dry?
Is it true this picture will be used as a breast – lift ad on the MTA?
Finally, where can we send you a Thank You Card?