5 Tips for the “Non-party person” to survive a Holiday Work Party:
by: Alanna Strong
It’s that time of year again—where your office job has one excuse to wear ugly sweaters, get sloppy drunk, and eat a hundred dollars worth of cheese and crackers. If any of you are like me and would rather pet Donald Trump’s wispy cloud-like “hair” than go to a party, this list is for you. You enjoy your work and your coworkers but simply are not a “party” person. That’s okay. Here’s five key things you should do to help your night be a smooth and anxiety free as possible.
Step 1: Wear something comfortable. If not comfortable, something you look GREAT in. If you feel comfortable and/or confident, you’re bound to feel more in your skin at such a potentially uncomfortable social event.
Step 2: Arrive fashionably late. This helps you avoid any awkward mingling that happens when the party is scheduled to start when no one is there yet.
Step 3: Take a shot. Or two. Maybe three. The alcohol will definitely help you loosen up, relax, and settle into a well disguised extrovert for the next hour and half or so. Then grab a cocktail so you have something to hold in your hands to make you feel more comfortable.
Step 4: Write a list of jokes to say during the awkward silences that inevitably arise mid conversation. Because who doesn’t like jokes? And if no one laughs, laugh at yourself, explain why it’s funny, and repeat Step 3.
Step 5: Thank the person(s) who organized the party. This will mean a lot to them because people love having parties but no one likes planning them. They’ll appreciate the gratitude. They’ll also remember that you came and that you’re a rad person.
After a respectful amount of time, you’re set to head out. Anywhere between an hour to an hour and a half will usually suffice as attending. This way you avoid any post-party speculations if you came or not, or getting a hard time about just making an appearance. Fake a phone call (or actually call a friend—whichever you’re most comfortable with) and help yourself towards the coat room to retrieve your things. If someone happens to see you, stay on the phone as you exit so you need not answer any questions and you’re in the clear!
Congratulations! You survived that dreaded social event! Help yourself to a bottle of wine, get cozy in your bed, and pat yourself on the back for being social. You deserve it.